The day I dropped my phone in the toilet

I dropped my phone in the toilet this morning. How frustrating  hahah 

I didn't have connection with anyone all day and forgot all food jahah

Jen's email day! I love her so much. I laugh so much at her emails and visa versa haha

I have so much going on with stressful things and today felt especially so but it will all but done in just 3 weeks. I hope I can do better than I did the other weeks when I bombed every test. I can't afford to do that again 

Nursing home Monday

Been so weird lately. I don't know why but Brady hurt my feelings and I'm being stubborn to forgive :P and he doesn't even know haha. Boys. 

I have a crush on Parker he's cute and spiritual and motivated but I NEVER SEE HIM?! Like ever. I got to see him on our bike ride on Saturday and on church yesterday and hanging around in hammocks afterward but I'm too shy so he probably has no clue that I'm into him/ or the opposite and Collin has made it weird and he's weirded out by me. Haha who knows but on Sunday in church nick waved at me so I waved back then he tapped on Parker and pointed at me and said something and waved again and Parker was really embarrassed about it so maybe he does? Idk haha 

I'm missing Jen a lot lately. Just the smaller stuff mostly this week. It's just weird feeling half there all the time. I bet grandma feels like this all the time 💔

She's been hurt. I hope it isn't anything bad. :( 

I went to the nursing home today for FHE. It definitely turned my bad mood into a happy one. I love going. It makes me so sad though that these people are just left here to survive like WHERE ARE THEIR FAMILIES?!? 😭 it really breaks my heart. More than it should maybe. I love them though. 

Tok and me with Ray Price. He had the cutest poems he wrote about his life. It was so inspiring to me. I would love to write poems about it but if I don't do that I want to express those events somewaY 

We took roomie pictures after church. Leah was not having that haha.

Sunday was sooo warm like 66 degrees! Hung out outside with Nick and Jacob Ian Katie and Paige. Lots of others joins. It was fun jamming and hanging in the hammocks. I love my ward. Nick is so good at making me feel like a friend. :) 

Parker came out eventually but I was too shy to talk to him so :P but it was still fun seeing him. :) 

I skyped grandma and watched Easter videos. I'm so excited to go home for easter

Saturday the 19th of Marxh

Matt is in town. Yesterday we went to Costa Vida and Zootopia (the movie). I really enjoyed it and needed it. I have been so offended and sad and crybaby about everything so to step away and be with family was great. He even helped me with my photo assignment. 

I am watched Friends like crazy. So fun! 

I went on a field trip today. I made myself such healthy snacks and lunch this morning. I was so proud of me for doing that haha. Dirk left me a present of candy and a note

What a sweet thing to do but he's such a funny guy haha. 

 I made a friend with a gal named Jessica and hung out with her. She was really nice and not too chatty which I loved because I got so much homework done!! :) I worked on the process book for the exhibit  and feel much less stressed. 

I hung out with Maddie all afternoon. I love that gal. She's so kind an fun. I can't wait to live with her again :)

The wards activity was skating tonight. It was so fun! Not many came but it was Maddie me Fred Katie and basically a bunch of guys. Nick and parker and Jacob were there so that was fun. They're all so great. 

Me and Maddie last second decided to go to The Redeemer (a musical performance on campus) it had already began and you needed tickets but we couldn't figure them out but we still decided to at least try. And it worked out and we got to go and the spirit was so strong and I am grateful I went to prepare a bit more for the sacrament tomorrow. 

Afterwards Parker Leah and I went on our weekly bike ride. I have a pretty big crush on that guy. But I don't want Maddie to tell him to ask me out. I want him to do it on his own or for me to initiate. But it was freezing but really good. 

St Pattys

A good tree cannot give forth bad fruit. 

Today I was sooo emotional. I just wanted someone to care and to be there for me and try to cheer me up and brighten my day but no one was. No one cared. But why should they? 

Why should I be entitled to get any kind of treatment? Also maybe I am just being overly offended at nothing. These people around me don't have evil intentions. They're still so good and so loving.  They just don't know. 

I tried to play out the verse that whatever you would want someone to do to you, do for them. So I served more today than I was even close to doing yesterday. I still broke down and cried and was miserable all day, but I still remember God loves me. Jesus understands me and that because of that I can let go of these sadnesses and try to help my siblings here on earth. 

Also I am working towards being determined so I can get crap done. 

Also I celebrated today like crazy ❤️ I 1. Miss Jen so much and am realizing how awful holidays are without her and 2. Can't wait to celebrate Easter with Grandy. And fam :) 

Leah and me made green breakfast 

Ran into a leprechaun. Apparently he knew Jen from FHE 

Last night Hailey came to town and we went to S Mary Kay party. It was hilarious and we won tons of goodies. :)

I missed her

Typical 

Maddie threw a party and it was a huge success. :)

It's the 12th not the 9th

I don't really feel noticed or special or anything worth noticing. How is it that I want to make something "remarkable" but am not "remarkable" myself. 

I spent most the day working on homework and listening to TED talks. I am learning so much and being motivated. Hopefully I can use everything I'm leaning and put it into motion. 

Micheal took me and Leah on an adventure to a pawn shop. It was awesome and I got some pictures. 

I ate pizza and it made me sick. 

I realized I don't want to lead on Brady. 

I watched friends for like 5 hours. 

I sat home alone all Friday night. 

I miss having someone to talk to all the time. I don't even feel like we talked THAT much but apparently more than I know. I feel so lost and alone. I can't imagine how grandma feels. I don't want her or Jen or anyone feeling this way. 

I'm so grateful for Leah's friendship. And even though we are sooo different and drive each other bonkers, I care so much about her and her about me. I don't know what I would do this semester without her

3/9

I am into a TED talk stage. I am going to be more aware and compassionate. I need to be friendly. For them and for myself. 

I need to be making work that is REMARKable. 

Leah was having a really rough day. I wish I knew how to react better and love more and be there for her. ❤️ 

Micheal and me matched today. Oh my haha. He bought me pizza and was so kind like always. I love the people in my life. 

Brady is falling hard. I don't know what to do ekkk 

I love my roomies so much. I am excited to live with them again. 

3/8

So some pretty exciting stuff! 

I decided to stay in rexburg this coming semester. I got a contract for nauvoo (miracle) and so did leah :) I also was able to get another design job and maybe even an internship?? So hopefully I'll have 2 design jobs and one off campus job. I'm really excited. :)

I am motivated to eat good and exercise and also to redo assignments for class. I want to be proud of how I'm doing and currently in not. 

I went skiing on Saturday (it's Wednesday now) but it was fun I got paid to go which is awesome hahaha. 

Holland did a great Q/A on Tuesday. I loved what he talked about. 

My group is coming together. It's not about passing the blame to another, but putting it upon you. 

Leah is learning my piano song. Cutest.  

Jen is doing well in Hawaii. I miss her often. 

Brady is like falling hard and I'm actually liking him a lot but wouldn't want anything to come of it. But he's the sweetest and we have lots of fun. :)

3/8

So some pretty exciting stuff! 

I decided to stay in rexburg this coming semester. I got a contract for nauvoo (miracle) and so did leah :) I also was able to get another design job and maybe even an internship?? So hopefully I'll have 2 design jobs and one off campus job. I'm really excited. :)

I am motivated to eat good and exercise and also to redo assignments for class. I want to be proud of how I'm doing and currently in not. 

I went skiing on Saturday (it's Wednesday now) but it was fun I got paid to go which is awesome hahaha. 

Holland did a great Q/A on Tuesday. I loved what he talked about. 

My group is coming together. It's not about passing the blame to another, but putting it upon you. 

Leah is learning my piano song. Cutest.  

Jen is doing well in Hawaii. I miss her often. 

Brady is like falling hard and I'm actually liking him a lot but wouldn't want anything to come of it. But he's the sweetest and we have lots of fun. :)